By Melissa A. Bullard, Ph.D.
I’ve heard it said that growing older is inevitable, but growing up is optional. As we age, we enjoy the gifts of increased knowledge, skills, and wisdom that come from life experience. If we are fortunate, we also maintain the spirit of playfulness that comes so naturally to children. Does being “grown up” have to mean always being responsible and serious, or can we strike a healthy balance between honoring our commitments while also fully enjoying our lives? Here in Northern Michigan, we are surrounded by plentiful opportunities for recreation in stunning natural settings. Yet we can easily get caught up in day to day tasks without giving adequate attention to the energizing and essential activity of play. When is the last time you did something “just for fun,” or for the sheer joy of it? If you feel burned out, worn out, or too tired out, perhaps it is time to change direction and learn to be a “Kid at Heart.” To be a Kid at Heart, you’ll need to practice being in the present moment, simplify to the bare essentials, and enjoy what you really love!
Practice being in the present
As adults, we can easily become preoccupied with the future. That is, instead of fully experiencing what is going on right now, we get stuck in our minds thinking about what we’ll do, or what will happen in the future. A striking example of living in the future (rather than living in this moment) was shared to me by my uncle, who while taking in a breath-taking view at a National Park, heard another tourist say, “I can’t wait to get home and see the pictures of this!”
Each day, we make dozens of choices about where we focus our mental attention. Adults, who have so much to attend to, often need reminders to “stop and smell the roses”. On the other hand, kids quite naturally pay attention to whatever catches their attention, from moment to moment. Where is your mind throughout the day as you go to work, exercise, cook a meal, watch television, or talk to friends and family? Do you ever find your body doing one thing while your mind is somewhere entirely different? While it is helpful to use our brains to accomplish necessary tasks and plan thoughtfully for the future, it is also important to allow our minds to rest in the here and now.
For a Kid at Heart, this moment (what is occurring right now) is more important than what has already happened, or what may happen later. Simply observing children at play can be a wonderful way to witness how to live in the present moment! Another simple way to improve your connection to the present is to regularly check in with yourself and ask, “What is on my mind right now?” The more we stop to notice the content of our thoughts, the more we gain control over “automatic” activity like fretting about the future. Learning a formal meditation practice where you spend periods of time giving focused attention to your breath, to your bodily sensations, or to a mantra can be a great way to train yourself to appreciate the present moment.
Simplify to the bare necessities
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